Hari Ulang Tahun Papa

Hari ini, kalau saja beliau masih ada, papaku merayakan ulang tahunnya yang ke 51.

Hari ini, setahun yang lalu, keluargaku di Jakarta berkumpul semua, merayakan ulang tahun papa yang ke 50. Segalanya lebih semarak dari biasanya. Ada makanan, kado-kado, dan uniknya ada kue ulang tahun. Eyang juga datang dari Jogja.

Seakan-akan segala sesuatunya telah diatur dengan sedemikian rupa sehingga papa dapat merayakan ulang tahun (walau hanya sederhana) untuk yang terakhir kalinya.

I was miles and miles away at that time. Aku hanya bisa melihat papa dari klip2 kecil yang di ambil Lysa pake Hp atau foto2 yang kurang begitu jelas. Maklum, papa suka gengsi klo di foto, gak mau senyum... Satu hal yang jelas terbaca dari dokumentasi2 itu, papaku bahagia.

Buat apa menangis terus, karena air mata tidak akan merubah kenyataan bahwa papa tidak ada bersama aku lagi. Tapi apalah yang harus aku khawatirkan sekarang?
Papa sudah jauh lebih bahagia di surga.

jadi...

Selamat ulang tahun, papa...

What's real, babe?

People always say "BACK TO REAL LIFE" every time they have to deal with the first day working day after holiday, deal with their own itsy-bitsy problematic life.

But, what's REAL life anyway?
Let me tell you something about real life (My version, for working people)

The real life is everything UNreal.
It's where all the women wear heavy make-up, wonderbras, finest clothes, and stilettos to be considered equally beautiful.
It's where all the men wear the Hugo's suits, fancy cars, and Viagras to satisfy their sexual selves.
It's when you have put a smile on every time your bosses pass by, or say "Hi!" (of course, with a friendly tone) to your colleagues who apparently you hate the most.
It's when you have to stop eating the things you LOVE the most just because you have to fit into the groups of perfect people of which you disgust <<>

Whatever unreal things that occur to you at this very moment is the real thing that we all have to live with. It SUCKS, i know.

That's why most of the time we always dream of holidays, a great moment when we can finally gather with our closest people.
Only among those that we (I) can breathe the fresh air of being real.

Among them.. What's left of me is ugly face, big sized t-shirt and super baggy pants. For once, i will thank for the opportunity of being among the people in which i do not have to be nice, nor smart, nor brave, nor confident.

I want to be angry and sad when i want to. Smile only to people who (can be considered) deserve my smile.

And this smile, right here, is the smile i shall give to those who know the UGLY me inside and yet love me.

Sunset in Carita

Went to a beach-cottage last weekend. with B, my so-called twin.
It was nice to actually feel ocean breeze on my skin. A lot of temptation to swim there was, but I was on my period. SHOOOT!

We got our cameras shooting this and that and the sunset and ourselves :p I was putting on heavy SUNBLOCK (Yes, sunblock is a must! SPF 30 doank adanya huhuhu....) to keep myself from being toooo tan, like what happened in Spain heheheh...

Location: Carita, a view of Krakatau

Thanks B for sharing a weekend getaway :)

Andai aja anak2 semuanya bisa ikutan... bakar2... bikin api unggun... maen ke krakatau kali yaa......

Next trip: Bangka!

Perjalanan pulang: mas jaket coklat

Home, at last!
Perjalanan pulang hari ini lumayan panjang. 2.5 jam baru sampe rumah dengan selamat (with few bruises tough...).

Ada cerita tentang perjalanan pulang hari ini. Tepatnya dimulai dari tempat nge-tem m24 di jalan salam. Penumpangnya memang lumayan malem ini, abangnya lagi laku.

Dan kemudian, muncul sosok ini... seorang pria dengan jaket coklat muda.. dan duduklah dirinya tepat di sampingku. Well, kita sebut saja dia si "mas" karena memang dia hanya seorang mas yang tidak dikenal. Tampangnya ok punya lah. Tapi rasanya semua orang tampangnya pas akan keliatan ok dalam sinar yang remang-remang.

Awalnya semua normal-normal aja. Lalu si abang sopir memutar lagu yang memacu suasana: Slank "Jakarta Pagi ini". Mobil pun mulai berjalan, orang2 di dalam mikrolet ikut bergerak ke kanan dan ke kiri, sedikit bersentuhan satu sama lain. Begitu pula lenganku dan si "mas".

Waaaah.. ternyata dia harum. Wanginya bukan wangi parfum nyong-nyong or parfum bajakan lainnya. Cukup wangi sabun habis mandi hihi.. seger menyenangkan. Entah bau wanginya si mas ini yang membius atau efek kepala kejedot (dengan keras) berkali-kali hari ini (hope my brain is not dislocated!) pikiranku jadi mulai melayang.... Melayang mengikuti lirik lagu Slank yang (in my opinion) sangat menenangkan.

"Pagi dingin, gak ada sinar mentari..."

Sejenak rasanya badan ini berada di salah satu gedung tinggi di Jakarta ketika hari masih pagi buta. Cakrawala baru beranjak bangun; jalanan masih lenggang; langit belum berwarna abu-abu termakan polusi dari knalpot bis-bis jalanan. (it is actually something i want to do; to enjoy the dusk of Jakarta)

Dan bau harum sabun mandi dari si "mas" ini menambah efek dinginnya pagi di gambaran yang ada setiap kali mata terpejam. Rasanya kembali raga ini bersama dengan orang-orang yang aku kenal. Sahabat-sahabat dari Jogja di mana kita sering nongkrong sampai pagi. Sahabat-sahabat di Belanda di mana kita sering ngobrol ngalor-ngidul sampai burung berkicau...

Adegan lengan bertemu lengan mengingatkan aku pada pelukan-pelukan sahabat dan orang yang aku sayangi. Mereka-mereka yang berada jauh, sesaat ada bersamaku di atas gedung itu, menikmati pagi di Jakarta.

Namun saatnya sudah tiba untuk bangun. Beranjak dari tempat duduk karena tujuanku sudah ada di depan mata. Ketukan pun kuberikan sebagai isyarat "bang, berhenti kiri depan ya". Saatnya juga berpisah dengan si "mas" jaket coklat muda.

Tapi tak apa. Toch lagunya slank juga pas berakhir.
Turunlah aku dari mikrolet.
eh, turun pula si "mas"... ternyata pemberhentian kita sama. Mungkin dia masih wangi baru mandi supaya masih segar ketika bertemu pujaan hati. Mau ngapel sih sepertinya.

Demikian pertemuan singkat dengan si "mas". Mungkin di lain kesempatan kita akan bertemu lagi, mungkin si "mas" memakai sabun dengan wangi berbeda, dan ada background lagu yang berbeda, yang akan membawa khayalan dari memori yang berbeda.

(belum) sempurna

Reading a friend's blog makes me re-think of my (past) actions.

Whether i like it or not, I have to realize that my huge EGO could ruin someone's life. How can't i see that he is still picking up scattered pieces of his old life... trying to move on... being the person he should be.

I am such an evil person.

The big question remains: "Is it time for me to walk away and leave everything behind?"
I'm sorry, I do not possess that courage.

If i could, i would love to make everything goes perfect
There it goes, my and my EGO. Again...

Hangover days

Beberapa hari after Semarang serasa hangover days. bangun tidur rasanya beraaaaaaaaat bgt. baru semenit bangun tiba2 ketiduran 1 jam lagi, alhasil selalu buru2 klo mau ke kantor. kepala muter2.... mata rasanya gak fokus... hidung mencium bau2an aneh.

Bayangkan! Hari pertama ngantor yang tercium bau pizza hut. terjadilah apa yang seharusnya terjadi, pulang dari kerja bertengger dulu di pizza hut slipi jaya, eating soup and salad and creamayo tuna pizza. The fact that i'm soo broke could not defeat the great appetite within!

Hari kedua kerja, bau yang tercium lebih aneh lagi. I smelled yokko! on and off. on and off. it's weird that he's miles away yet it felt that he's with me. Mungkin karena dia blom mandi kali yah :P baunya sampe ke Jakarta. And he's out-of-this-world words explained everything ^.^ oh, i have to stop being cheesy!!

Hari ketiga dan keempat (which is today) gak ada bau2an aneh. But i (bea too) have constant crave to EAT! GOSH! If only my table is made of chocolate bar, it would be gone by now hehehe...

It's like i'm having speeless nights. It's been a while since i felt this tired. My dear bea said, "karena yang cape bukan cuma badan loe. hati dan pikiran juga."

Fortunately, there are things that lights me up. Especially karena bea bisa gue ejek2 saban hari, her "fans" are bugging her now and then. Their so-called serious attempt makes me ROFL. Hum... in our words, it's super najong XD

I but thank those guys who try to brighten my best friend's day up. Indirectly, they have brighten my days too.

And for the guy who holds my heart...

Read: 4 hari untuk selamanya

4 hari untuk selamanya

Lina said to me, "You'll die happy because you have someone who loves you that much."

Up to this very second, I feel that everything happened back in Semarang was so unreal. Am i dreaming? Am i not? My hands are shaking, my lips are trembling, my eyes are blurring. It's like my body has been teared apart, i may cry all the way through the night.

I have a broken heart, but i got no one to blame.

If life is about options, I choose to hope. I know that my friends worry about me being such a stupid person as I am now. But those hopes and dreams of being with someone i truly love someway someday is the thing that keeps me going, the thing that keeps me alive. Even if that dreams will never come true.

Location: Somewhere in Semarang

I'm not ok. But i am gonna be all right.

Now, when i see other people's relationship, I can smile and say, "I know love".

I'm happy to know that you do love me, dear.

Salute to Indah

I just got back from Semarang. Got back from an emotional journey in which i saw the beauty of love and friendship.

I (we) went to meet people from the past. Eat and drink together. Share and update each other life. One thing that interconnected us is we miss each other :)



To my beloved Indah, CONGRATULATION ON YOUR WEDDING!
May you both cherish every second you spend together. I salute your bravery in overcoming your rocks and winning the love of your life.

The after effect of Semarang... Hangover days.

spi spi spider-pig

I opened Youtube page and the "Spider-Pig song" video caught my eye. The movie's goooooooooooooood. And that ugly spider-pig song Homer sang badly (I'm sure he's not gonna make it to American Idol's audition!), is extremely loveable!
hahaha :D

Let's watch and sing it together!

"Spider-pig.. spider-pig
Does whatever a spider-pig does
Can he spin from a web?
No he can't, he's a pig
Look ooooout, here comes the spider-pig!"

oh, here's another nice clip of the Simpsons i got on Youtube! It really shows that evolution is just a small part of being the citizen of Springfield.
Watch Simpson: The Beginning

Pilkada 2007

Lagi rame2nya kampanye di Jakarta. Terlebih lagi di depan kantor.. well, sapa suruh kantornya di depan Tugu Proklamasi hehehe...

Jakarta memang lagi rame PILKADA! Ada dua calon kuat yang foto2nya merajalela di seantero Jakarta. Yang satu memajang Adang Daradjatun dan Dani Anwar (no.1) sedangkan satunya memajang foto Fauzi Bowo dan Prijanto (no.2). Honestly, all of these parade draw me back to my childhood memory of "topeng monyet" (-tidak ada maksud untuk menyamakan loh ya!). Di mana ada tabuhan genderang dan seruan2 lewat megaphone, di sanalah orang2 berkumpul untuk melihat dan sesekali menyerukan yell2 kebanggaan.

Siapa sih yang bakalan terpilih untuk menggantikan sutiyoso? Hay, it's not my decision to make. I myself will not be in Jakarta during the BIG 8 aka the election day.

I will be in Semarang, getting prepare for Indah's BIIIIG day. hehehe...

Veel success buat kalian2 yang ingin membenahi dan menyatukan segala keragaman yang ada di Jakarta! Semoga yang terbaiklah yang terpilih. God speed!

Class of 2006

I just got our self-initiated Inholland yearbook "Class of 2006".
(nice conceptual design neysa) Thank you for brug and Mos for making it happen. Too bad I cant do much to help you guys.

But i know i've contributed something. Pictureeeeessss... It's actually quite obvious since the yearbook pictures are DOMINATED by INDONESIANs :P Yupe. Most pictures put in the yearbook come from my database hehehe...

Well well.. now i really have something to remember. Even though i was no one and was nothing special through out the academic years. Long live class of 2006!

*happy*
;)