No. 2

a back-up plan.

weekend getaway.

the other one.

a maybe.


Do you know how it feels not to be the Priority?

.
.
.
.
.

i do. i know.
i sometimes treat people that way, too.

Alone at the office

So i am officially running the office all by myself for a month.


well, it's not that bad :)

The usually unusual people

After spending my previous weekend on bed rest... [Uhm, well not exactly since i bought some pairs of shoes in between my bedrest :P] i spent my weekend with the 'usual' people. This time around, i dragged them all to sleepover at my house hahaha

We, as in ck rb jono and i, started the day wandering and not wandering around in Bogor. Ngacak2 rumah rb, ke tajur nyari tas [sial, belum kutemukan yang kuinginkan!], dan makan tentunya. Tapi ya namanya tukang nongkrong, udah ampe bogor juga ending2nya bertengger di Starbucks juga wahahahahaha.. Enak, empuk, ujan pula. Benernya kurang tambahan heater berjalan aja :P

Bukti keberadaan kami di Starbucks Bogor.
Detik-detik menjelang tidur di sofa.

Then Chemonk joined the group at dinner. Dede joined soon afterwards.
Dengan mobil ruben dan kursi laknatnya itu, melajulah kami menjemput jono pulang kerja jam 12 malam! Ber6 satu mobil apa muat? Tentu saja! Kan dd chemonk kecil2 hehehe

Too bad sev ppl couldn't join us, or else it would've been even crazier XD

Pff. It'll be kinda weird not going to spend my next two weekends with them.
damnit i miss you guys already.
:|

Rihanna's Concert? No, I'm not going.

I have a thing with Rihanna.
It's not about the singer, nor the song, nor the super sexy hairstyle of hers.

It's her concert.

Two years ago, Rihanna was about to hold a concert in Amsterdam on November 18. My friends and I were about to go and have some fun there. But then my father passed away on November 16. And i had to go back home to Indonesia. So... I missed the concert. and my father.

This year, in few days, Rihanna is going to hold a concert in Jakarta on November 14. I was considering to go... but my party/concert sisters are not here... plus the ticket price is off the ceiling. Too freakin high for "just" a Rihanna, in my opinion.
It's quite funny it is. Even if i decided to go to the concert, i will have to cancel it again... because my family will hold a eucharist in memory of my father on November 14.

HA HA HA... It's been two years, yet it links well.
Rihanna's concert and my father's death.
Very odd. very odd indeed.

OK. Now i should stop blabbering.

Headache

Ok. I admit it.
I got a bad headache lately. Maybe i got stressed out because of the upcoming event in November [i have nightmares about it!] Or maybe i just got struck by several cold facts about my past "relationships".

My BIG time childhood/adolescence CRUSH is going to get married next year, on valentine's day. He told me that personally [if one consider "over the phone" as personal]. At that very second, i feel crushed by a building! Then all the madness occurs.

We've been "friends" for a long time now. Our "friendship" has been on and off and on and off all the time [for years and years now] since we got separated and brought back together and separated and back together... and of course, he's been busy too with his own conquest. I remember my girlfriends, back on high school, used to slap me for being so utterly stupid and hate him for being who he was. I admit it, at some point in my life i really thought that i may end up being with him for the rest of my life. How cheesy can that be? I'm miserable, it's undeniably true.

I know how his past girlfriends used to get a little jealous of me, out of the blue. It somehow flatter me a little :) Yet, it will not change the current fact that he is getting married... on valentine's day. How ironic for me :( *sobs*
SAYA TIDAK RELA! uhm... mungkin belum rela :( *sobs*
if somehow YOU are reading this.. well.. I do wish you happiness and I say a little pray for you
Gosh, this is a lil bit like my best friend's wedding scenes! No!

Another thing...
My old friend told me that my ex is married, already, when we chatted several days ago. Still a speculation tho, since he's been missing for several years. We were forcefully separated because of that outrageous conflict in Ambon years ago. Funny thing was he was so upset that i would meet my other "friend" hahaha... Ok. Why is this bothering me now? The fact is, I've been wondering how he's been after all those years. Wonder if he's fine, wonder if i could meet him again, give him a hug... sure i do care about him :) It's just quite shocking to know that he's most probably married already - he's not the kind to settle that easily. RELA sih, cuma bakalan very awkward aja klo tiba-tiba ketemu lagi.. tapi pake ada istrinya disebelahnya yang melihat saya dengan tatapan kejam.

And the last one.
It's minor, but it hurts the most. Two days ago, I had a dream about my polar bear, Y. Dream about us still being together, as if nothing has ever happened :)

All bad coincidences?

Ngiler ngeliat vanness? saya juga!

B told me that Vanness grows beard! and it's awful!

So i check on one of his vclip on youtube Fading Into You/我不是自己 and wait. Loading...........
There he is. All muscle and very yummy! Such an eye candy for me :P

But wait a minute. Gosh! Then i saw the beard! NO NO NO! He's too cute for beard! what is it that he's trying to prove? that he's a man? Lol.. I love you Vanness... but please please please get rid of that stupid beard. Kesannya itu jenggot bo'ongan banget sih, kaya tempelan.

ok. Let's compare!

^This is the Vanness Wu i like^
with his long hair and toned body

^This is the same guy, plus beard!^
Hate him so! Tiba-tiba bikin ilfil. doh! >.<'

Another thing i realize is that Vanness is so good in his English, he sucks when he sings in Chinese. Boy, you better keep talking in English. I can't understand any word you say in Chinese wahahahaha :P [karena memang saya tidak mengerti bahasa mandarin, hidup jepang!]

Apapun yang terjadi, tetep ngiler liat Vanness. Tutupin aja mukanya dan jengot-jengot gak jelas ituh, nikmatilah badannya yang kotak-kotak ituh. sluuuuuurp!

Almost officially broke!

I need to pay several tickets today. Habislah persediaan duit-duit saya! am going to Pangkal Pinang next week, and Bali the week after :P wahahahahahha *tawa kemenangan* I am so happy to leave this city, even for a zip!

Actually i prefer to go to Beijing this month. But the plan was to go there with goldie. We got to resechedule our plan since she is going to have her family and or pilgrimage trip on sept. uhm, maybe korea with b? sounds interesting :P

Ok, off me go!

obssesion over coffee :P

I need my shot of coffee! Gara-gara Nia nih!

[updated Friday Aug 8]* DARK MOCHA FRAPPUCINO
among tazo tea, caramel frappucino, and iced water
location: Starbucks La Piazza

Tadi pagi browse-browse blog orang-orang. Pas nyangkut di blog-nya Nia... doh! Her writing about her depression over not-having coffee reminds about how much i love coffee hehehe Padahal tiap kali minum kopi pasti jantung berdebar-debar... tangan gemeteran... kadang-kadang bisa dreamy sendiri. Serasa orang lagi jatuh cinta wakakakakaka... Hmm... maybe COFFEE IS MY SUBSTITUTE FOR LOVE!

Suddenly, I crave for Starbucks Dark Mocha Frappucino Blended Coffee "finest arabica coffee, pure dark cocoa and sweet chocolaty bits" yummy yummy yummy! By far, it's my favorite frappe selaen Javachip frappucino :D

My sis said that rumour has it that the new and improved Binus will have either J.co or Starbucks! kyaaaaaaa tidaaaaak bisa gila bisa gilaaaa

p.s.
It's 3.45 pm. I just had my coffeemix :P

To eat or not to eat

I dont feel like eating. This is rare... very rare...
I have lots of food, cakes, muffins, etc in my fridge... but i dont feel like eating. At all!

I eat just because i have to eat, at least that's how i hear myself thinking. Well, food is there to be appreciated, to be eaten. Blah.. ok let's have a bite :)

oh, and that new ad of SoyJoy is lameeee.... i prefer the dancing-soy one.

spi spi spider-pig

I opened Youtube page and the "Spider-Pig song" video caught my eye. The movie's goooooooooooooood. And that ugly spider-pig song Homer sang badly (I'm sure he's not gonna make it to American Idol's audition!), is extremely loveable!
hahaha :D

Let's watch and sing it together!

"Spider-pig.. spider-pig
Does whatever a spider-pig does
Can he spin from a web?
No he can't, he's a pig
Look ooooout, here comes the spider-pig!"

oh, here's another nice clip of the Simpsons i got on Youtube! It really shows that evolution is just a small part of being the citizen of Springfield.
Watch Simpson: The Beginning

Banana and sandwich

Yak.. monday monday :D
Be happy guys.. living in a monday is not something that we should hate.
So what if our weekend is over? Another weekend will come around the corner in few days, eventually.

Don't say that i'm falling in love...

Yes, because i can feel the pain inside.. it's like a knife stabbing me right thru my heart.

They call it heart broken. and how can this be happening to me?
It's because this morning bea told me that John Mayer's concert is around the corner. will be on ovtober 17, 2006, in Melkweg. and it's gonna be ONLY 20euros.
I was soooo excited, both to see him playing live in front of my eyes and to throw stuffs (tomatos, lettuces, and all rotten vegies) to jesicca simpson for getting her way with john!

Then... few hours later... bea texted me again: "SOLD OUT!" two most heartbreaking words in the world of concert! That really makes my day gloom, even though it's totally warm outside - makes me wanna sit in the park and do nothing.

fuuuuu.. there it goes... i have release my anger...
D* F* u Jessica!!!
oh i want my own John Mayer...

Tifa, the girl

Gue dapet kuis ini dari Bea.

I am not a big big fan of Final Fantasy. Actually, i never really play the game.
I am not a gamer, I am a game-watcher :p
A fan of my boyfriend's and other male friend's gaming hours.

So I tried this link out: Which FF Character Are You? and got Tifa as my FF alter-ego.
She's cute and cool at the same time.

Bright and optimistic, aite? I like her.
\(^o^)/

NO, i'm not leaving

it is decided.
i'm going to stay here.
as long as i can.

ok, yeah rite, call me crazy to want this or whatever. but i have decided that i'm going to stay in holland, and i'm going to stay here based on my personal efforts and not because of a "significant-other"s assistance.

ya temanku, ga pake acara kawin2an ama lelijke meener XD
gosh gosh.. i'm not that desperate!
(hope i'm not offending some people here)

gambarumasu! ayo cari kerja!!

YAY Graduated!

it's been a while
klo gak diingetin juga gue benernya udah agak2 lupa gimanaaa gitu klo punya blog

may i'm just too busy
or pretend to be busy
or think that i'm pretend to be busy

blah..
but at least i graduated.. with a grade that is not satisfactory enough for me.
yes, yes, i am demanding.. as Marien said in his speech.

maybe later tonite i'll share some more.

sepi sendiri aku benci

Baru juga jam segini tapi udah sepi.. uhm mungkin karena ga ada orang di skitar sini. pada pergi smua sie.

Kpala nggliyeng2 [maksutnya puyeng2 muter2 rasanya mo gedubrak]. Kayanya gara2 kebanyakan ngeliat komputer, padahal skarang juga masih bertahan. Abis gimana donks? kerjaan groupnya seabrek2.. website oh website.. dont make me start!

Sepi2 gini enaknya ngapain ya? Nonton tipi juga rasanya ga gitu menarik. aneh juga, gue khilangan selera buat nongkrongin tipi 24/7 smenjak tinggal di asrama. Toh sekarang ada internet.. it's even better!

Harusnya ngerjain tugas lagi.. or research buat ke Greece. tapi udah nggliyeng2...
artinya: cukup. matiin laptop.

Desperate Lynette

Lately i've been watching Desperate Housewives series (nog 1 cd to go!). A very intriguing story line it is. Was quite boring on the first few episodes, but breath-taking on last few episodes.

That's why i took the "Which Housewife are You?" quiz on its official website. Citra got "Susan Mayer" character 3 times in a row. Bea apparently had "Gabrielle Solis" inside of her. And for myself, just as what i expected, I got "Lynette Scavo"... a brilliant woman who gave up her top career for four super hyperactive children.

Here is the quote: "Lynette. You gave up a great job for this? No one really appreciates you, and yet you slog on, with very little sleep and very little thanks. Who can blame you when you occasionally lose it? Hang in there. Just lay off the Ritalin."

What is Ritalin anyway? I don't know. In fact, i considered myself as more-to-pursue-career woman than a-perfect-mother-with-amazing-kids type. But then again, if i actually have kids, maybe i'll screw them around like Lynette did. After that, I'll be having lack of sleep and be stressed about everything. Gosh! At least for now (the first season) Lynette has a good husband. He's cute too :p typical American.

For you who wanna take the quiz >> go to Desperate Housewives Quiz and join the desperate club!

Cukup Emosional

Hari ini hari terakhir Kermis di Diemen. Bekas2 vuurwerk masih ada di langit, tapi gue bukan salah satu yang ikut melihat keindahannya. Gue lebih memilih berada di depan komputer and nulis blog ini.

Perut rasanya masih penuh fish and chips-nya mister choco's. Padahal tadi udah gue muntahin sebagian, eneg. 12 euro hilang deh di toilet kamar 122A. Salah satu sahabat gue dari tadi kayanya concern bgt ngeliat gue hehehehe. Dia pikir tampang gue kacau bgt, i don't look ok. Well, she's quite rite. She got a point.

Pikiran gue cuma lagi jalan2. Hati gue rasanya berat. Setiap kali gue mengedip rasanya selalu ada cairan dari ujung mata gue yang ingin keluar. Semoga aja bukan air mata. Coz i don't wannabe a crybaby. Cuma lagi emosional aja.

C'mon girl... don't make such a fuss about it! Gotta be tough.

"Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"

What kind of GIRL are you?

You're like me! The intelligent loner.

You're shy at times but friendly, and you are never weak and always independent. You are incredibly intelligent (wise beyond your years) and have a talent for many things (sports, music, art). You have a kind and warm personality and enjoy the simple things. Like hanging out with friends and watching movies at home.

But you're sometimes quiet nature makes you a bit of an outcast and a mystery to people. No matter how pretty you are or smart or athletic, you just can't seem to break into the crowd and be noticed. Don't worry, try to be more outgoing and speak out when you have more to say. Don't hide behind your books and sports and computer, get out there and get noticed.

You also have deep desires in life and feel vulnerable and alone at times. Don't feel sad either, What helps me to express feelings and dreams that I can't say to people, is through my writing.
Maybe you should try.

>> What kind of girl are you? <<

What kind of KISS are you?

You have a mysterious kiss.
Your partner never knows what you're going to come up with next; this creates great excitement and arousal never knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end in a kiss as great as your mystery.

What kind of kiss are you?
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